Oh, I haven’t done one of these in a while!
The other day I was asked if the “perplexed Aunty” series would ever make a comeback. It ended right with having to endure a child’s play area and a fart mid play tunnel. There was no escaping that one, and it seemed a pretty apt moment to just stop. No one needs to imagine what a one year olds fart in a play tunnel smells like. Alas, I’m back. The perplexed Aunty that’s aged 20 odd years in just 4. For someone that used to not really like kids that much, I’ve been snotted on and used as a walking tissue more time than you can say tissue in a minute.
So where are we now. Well the little delight is 4. FOUR. I know. Time really does go so quickly when you’re having fun. Incase you’re wondering what the little sweet one year old grew up to be like, I’ll give you an idea.
Last month when I babysat, I politely asked her to stop picking her nose. You know, I even said please and bribed her with something much tastier than a little pinky that had just been half way to almost poking her brains out. I offered ice cream - Anything! I thought I was onto a winner actually when instantly she shot her finger out her nose and turned around to look at me. Until I saw it. The sass!
With a tut she said “ugh I just knew you’d say that” - dumbfounded, shocked, and with part of me dancing inside thinking “yeah this kids 100% related to me” (the sass part, not the poking at my brains) - I think I was frozen in my tracks and could do nothing other than laugh. Where on earth did that sass come from? Oh yeah she’s related to me and my sister. Not to mention her dad…
After a real shitty time over the last 12 months, when all I’ve wanted is a cuddle, she’s been the only one to recognise it, and has climbed onto my knee and in her cutest little voice said: “I love you Aunty Siân”. I’m not completely dumb to the fact she absolutely knows these simple five words said in a voice that imitates Oliver Twist gets her EXACTLY whatever toy she wants, but still...its cute.
In fact she’ll do anything for a toy. When my sister was trying to get her to use the toilet to go for a poo (bear with the grossness….), we’d had a long drawn out process for weeks about her being scared to poo on the toilet. Weeks! Until..
One night I FaceTimed her and said if she poo’d on the toilet, I’d buy her a present, thinking I had weeks ahead before I needed to scroll Amazons selection and off I went to sleep, blissfully completely unaware Annie was plotting her next Peppa Pig collection.
The next day I woke up to a video that said something along the lines of “I did a poo on the toilet. Buy my a present aunt Siân?”
So other-than becoming Amazons best prime customer, what have we been doing over the last 4 years?
Well I can safely promise I know ALL the words to Baby Shark, all the actions to Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, and I can reel off all the Johnny songs from Cocomelon like you reel off Busted's, The Year 3000 on a night out.
We've all got more "Art" in our houses than Van Gogh had. All accompanied with a little "Annie" signature at the bottom. We've cried as she started her first day of Nursery and complained "She looks too small to be there!!" as she ran off not even glancing back.
We've been coughed on, caught various bugs the little delight has bought home from her friends, and heard the words "I need a poo" far too many times in the most inconvenient places.
This year for her birthday, because she was going to be FOUR after all, we decided it would be good to invite another 14 unruly children, all equally as needy as ours, to soft play.
Take it from me, trying to explain to a 3-year-old that your body just WONT fit through a roller thing in the play area, but theirs will and they can safely go through, is like trying to explain to your best friend that she will not be heartbroken for ever - there's a way forward. The wails are quite similar really....
"I cannnttttttttt do ittttt....wah wah wah...."
I've lost count over the last four years of how many times I've seen stomped feet, with the cries "I cannttttttttt" . In fact, on her birthday, whilst trying to do my best impression of the hot single Aunty totally rocking this, I was bought back down to earth with a bump whilst in the park and Annie point blank refused to ride her brand new bike and demanded "Aunty Sian have a go..."
Unable to refuse, I hopped on whilst all the yummy mummies looked on, shaking their perfect little hair do's whilst blinking through their fake eyelashes looking in disgust at me.
Annie found it hilarious and for the next 20 minutes I pretended I just LOVE her bike, and she REALLY should have a go instead of me!
The last four years have been far better than I ever imagined. She's been the bestest little niece I could've asked for, the one person to keep on telling me she's loved me when I've felt like the least loveable person on the planet, and kept me smiling even on one of my darkest days. Equally, she's the only person that I can argue with and swear blind I'm right, but by 10 minutes in be made to question if I was ever right and If I ever know what I'm talking about...
Let's hope the next four years are equally as crazy and she continues to be the only person on the planet that thinks her Aunt Sian is cool....long may it last!!
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