- "Because I'm fifty shades of f****d-up, Anastasia”
I know so many of you have probably already read the 50 shades trilogy by now but for those who haven't or those who want a simple review, I'm here and ready to do it.
I jumped on the band wagon (so to speak) at the weekend when I walked into Tesco expecting to buy a magazine. In stead of Heat, New! or the usual Horse & Hound magazine, out I came with the first book in the 50 shades trilogy.
Not really knowing what I was to expect I began the book with an open mind. I'd heard both good and bad reviews from various friends and family. My sister described it as "good and the sex scenes aren't all that bad" whereas my aunty phoned my mum clearly agitated declaring she "wanted 'that' book out of her house, NOW!".
“Don't get your panties in such a twist... and give me back mine.”
When the book first came out I remember Facebook going into an absolute frenzy. Graduates were wanting Christian Grey to marry them, mothers were spending less time changing nappies and more glued to the book. Even Grandmas became accustomed to Mr Grey. How? I had to find out.
So, armed with a £20 note I purchased the first book.
What got me hooked immediately was the fact that Anastasia Steele reminds me so much of myself (obviously I'm not in to domination and being ordered around, but in other ways) and the fact that we are faced with a storyline involving a journalist.
Lets rewind a moment whilst I explain the bare content of the book before we go any further.
“No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love."
This book was originally written by a British "mum" as Twilight fan fiction. She re-imagined Bella and Edward as human adults. And this time around, rather than a lust for Bella's blood, Edward has a lust for tying up Bella and spanking her until it...uhhh...doesn't hurt anymore.
Admittedly in the beginning its hard to get past the fact of how similar Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele are to Bella and Edward. Once you're over the whole "Twilight is my life" deal then you're okay.
Again though we are faced with the clumsy, beautiful girl who happens to be a virgin, falling for the 'bad' guy she shouldn't have.
I had been told not to get (and I quote) "too excited" until roughly chapter 8 when they have sex for the very first time but from the moment the clumsy, innocent, beautiful 'Ana' fell into Mr Greys office I was hooked.
Although I was looking forward to finding out just how sinful the raunchy scenes were I soon noticed an underlying plot that showed us Mr Grey was a troubled young man.
Aside from the (good?) sex we see a relationship developing between Ana and Christian Grey that is clearly so much more than just scenes where he has his wicked way with her.
"No I told you, I don't sleep with anyone."
Admist warnings, Ana still becomes involved with Grey and the revelation of who he really is – a sexual deviant who likes to dominate his women into submission comes as quite a shock.
We are introduced to a young, carefree, gorgeous but troubled man, portrayed way above his 27 years who doesn't like to be touched nor does "hearts and roses". Soon enough we learn he was adopted at the age of four and then controlled and used by one of his mothers friends for sex. Clearly the guy has problems.
He sees women as being there to please and attend to all his needs, where in return he will buy expensive presents for and treat like a princess.
Ana is required to sign a contract to agree to terms and conditions set by Grey that she must adhere to.
The contract has a list of rules she will be required to follow. She must workout, eat regularly, maintain her health and hygiene, wear the clothing he provides, obey his every request, and spend every weekend with him for a period of three months. She also is forbidden to touch Christian or make eye contact with him.
"Why am I doing this Anastasia?" "Because I rolled my eyes at you"
I must admit, admitting to people I am reading the book caused a few stirs. "Its pure filth, you should not be reading it" was one comment. If you open your mind, look past the sex, scandals and constant.... (yes i'll leave that for you to fill in) then there, amongst it is a young man with problems who is simply looking for someone to look after and rescue him from the downward spiral he seems to be in.
Sure enough though before long we are introduced to the more loving and caring side of Grey that shows he could really have a soul beneath the 'fifty shades' man that he is.
**
As the book nears the end I found myself wishing there was another few hundred pages to read. I was hooked from the moment I opened the front cover but 50% in I didn't want to put it down.
Towards the end the relationship between Ana and Christian grows (I would say blossoms but can you call a relationship where the man enjoys hitting his woman normal?) but as ever becomes more confusing for readers.
I enjoyed the character development tthroughout and as the book goes on it is confirmed Christian has a bit of a soul (don't all gasp at once!).
The particular enjoyable pages to read are the exchange in emails between both characters. They resemble and include playfulness, charming whit and we really see not only character development but also the relationship developing.
However, I did begin to question Author, EL James a little towards the end as she portrays that experimenting in a relationship to the extent Christian wants Ana to is normal. Christian many of times tells Ana that spanking, being tied up and whipped is all normal and only seems wrong and painful because that is what the mind subconsciously portrays it to be - hurtful and wrong.
Speaking of subconscious - throughout the book we learn of Ana's subconsciousness constantly telling her whats right and wrong. In fact when reading you almost picture an angel on one of her shoulders and a devil on the other. We are hilariously treated to Ana's subconsciousness telling her what to do and inner goodness
stepping in to intervene.
As well as kicking, imploring, pursing their lips, mocking, “metaphorically screaming”, tapping their foot in frustration, yelling, sneering , laughing, swooning, dancing and sitting in the lotus position, you’ll find -
“My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”
“My subconscious screams at me. My inner goddess is doing back flips in a routine worthy of a Russian Olympic gymnast.”
“My subconscious swoons and passes out somewhere in the back of my head.” *Might that ‘somewhere’ be near your medulla oblongata, Ana?*
“My subconscious scowls at me… fucking – not lovemaking – she screams at me like a harpy.”
“My subconscious has reared her somnambulant head.” *Bingo! Thesaurus and subconscious together in one outing.
Like any love struck girl though Ana takes no notice of what her mind tells her and ignores what deep down she knows is right.
I may sound like I enjoy reading porn now but I found the in between bits of meeting parents and so on a little boring. What I think readers of this book enjoy is the nitty gritty, the development between the two and the way in which you find it difficult to relax whilst reading something so tense. I found myself constantly on the edge of my seat whilst reading, begging questions like "What would Christian do next?"..."Would he hurt Ana?". It took me good few chapters to realise he really didn't want to cause an unnecessary pain towards her and once you look past this you do find the troubled young man so traumatized by his past he feels it normal to order women around like their his prey.
It is only very near the end of the book that Ana comes to terms with her fate. Before she can commit to anything she asks Grey to show her how much he can really hurt her and throughout this we learn of his power and strength.
"What a monumental wake-up call. And to be fair on him, he warned me and warned me, time and time again."
Ana asks Grey to punish her the worst he would should she agree to be his submissive. Of course Grey doesn't object and goes on to beat her with a belt six times. Despite being told to use the 'safe word' should Ana become scared she doesn't and ends up running out on him.
"He's not normal"
Of course none of them want this and for once we see a Christian endure pain and hurt.
The book ends with Ana returning to her apartment alone having ended the relationship. She struggles to come to terms with what has happened and like any young girl in love finds it difficult to accept. Although this time her subconsciousness is correct and she knows she should stay away.
**
You don't have to tell me now, I know what you're thinking. I am sure I joined many other women in getting to the shops as fast I could to ensure I had the second book. The minute I closed the back page of the first I was left reeling and wanting more. Despite reading it whilst biting my own lip (something we must be careful of around Mr Grey or he will "Put you across 'his' knee") and going a embarrassingly shade of red whilst reading, I will continue to read the trilogy. Also, I never thought I'd say it but I think this could and already has topped Twilight.
Not many rate these books, but I honestly cannot put them down.
9/10 E.L James
*Second book review will be coming shortly*
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